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Lord Ilpalazzo

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The rant that came out of nowhere [Aug. 5th, 2010|12:11 am]
Lord Ilpalazzo

I sometimes wonder how, I have been able to make it this long. It has been like two, two and a half years since we first found out about Annie’s mass. It is now two years, four MRIs, A CAT-Scan, an EEG, and I can’t count the number of times that I had to hold her down for one of the previous tests or something else. Now Anya is up for the same treatment and she is worse off that Annie was.

I was talking to Dunlap about Andrews and some other things, and as much as I am looking forward to the change at least work wise. I mean I need to get a change of environment soon. That is not the problem though; I mean we like the area here and don’t want to leave. I am looking forward to the new station, but not everything that goes along with it or that is coming after. I hate moving, I know it is part of the life but I don’t enjoy it. That combined with not having furniture for a couple of months as it comes across the sea. I don’t know if I am going to get base housing. I don’t know if I do am I going to be able to get Chrissy in said housing. If I can’t do that how are we going to get Chrissy out of her hell and get Crystal help with the girls? If I can’t get base housing where are we going to live? How long is my commute going to be? Is the area going to be safe for the girls? God I can stress over that for hours…

That isn’t even what set me off. When we get back the girls have to start getting tests again. This means I have to hold Annie down, as strangers put needles into her. I don’t know how she doesn’t hate me. I mean at the EEG, I not only held her down while they put the leads on her head but I held her down as she cried herself to sleep. I honestly feel like I died a little inside that day, and if I have to do it again. I don’t know how I can. To make it worse I am not only going to have to do this to Annie, I am sure at some point I am going to have to put Anya though one of these style tests. I know I am not the only person out there with special needs children and there are far worse situations out there. I just don’t know how they do it. I didn’t realize how much this effected me until as I type this. I just feel like I am dying a little each time I have to put them through that.

Well, I have apparently stepped away from this long enough that I lost my train of thought and partially calmed down so I will leave it at this for now…Hopefully this stops the slow dying a little.

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Back on LJ [Aug. 4th, 2010|01:58 am]
Lord Ilpalazzo
Well, I don't know how long this will last but I figure why not. I recently refound LJ so I could post my writtings. Well I figure since I let most things build up inside becuase I don't have an outlet, becuase douchebags of Facebook, why not. I hope I can keep up this time but we will see.
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Dream sheet update [Aug. 16th, 2007|08:46 am]
Lord Ilpalazzo
Well with the new rank I guess it was a good time to get to work guiding my career agian. I just finished going out and updating my dream sheet so that I at least have some say in where I end up. Here is what I put down.

Preference 1:
Preference 2: JAPAN
Preference 3: UNITED KINGDOM
Preference 4: HAWAII
Preference 5: LINDSEY GE (Think this was a mis-click but it is germany so ok)
Preference 6: MENWITH HILL UK

anyone have suggestions let me know.

P.S. No I don't have orders and no I am not leaving yet this is just in case I am due to get orders soon.
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Level up [Aug. 15th, 2007|07:00 pm]
Lord Ilpalazzo
*Final fantasy victory fanfare*
*level up music*

Well for those non-military types today was a very special day. Today the Air Force selected 15,130 of 36,608 eligible senior airmen for promotion to staff sergeant. I was number 12761 on that list!!! What does that mean well a couple of things;

First it means at some point 8-12 months from now I get to put on SSgt and make more money, YAY!!!! 

Second it means that someone in the Air Force was crazy enough to promote me into a management role. 

Third this puts me in a MANAGEMENT ROLE god save us all. That means to Sarah's horror I am now offically her boss. I am not her offical rater yet but knowing that i will have airmen under me and that they seem to pair us up i wouldn't doubt if she ends up there. Her saving grace though maybe the fact that we are friends they may put her under one of the other two so that there isn't the any confilcts on interest going on.

Forth to most of the clubs dismay this will end up on of two ways for me staying at Robins after the coming merge of units in October. Depending on how the staff billets fall for our shop after the reorg I may end up on an express list out of robins since I will have the most time on station. If that happens then the club will have a roaming member overseas. But take note to go along with this so people don't flip out and act like I am leaving never to return, if i go I plan on keeping in touch with everyone and once we get settled in there will be a standing offer to come visit if you pay the ticket over, and for those under the legal age in the states i will take you drinking if you are legal where ever i end up. But to get back to the topic at hand I don't have orders and might not get them anytime soon so adopted siblings you know who you are don't freak out.

With that I let you go with this last thought...

OMFGWTF I made Staff,
OMG WEEEE!!!!!! Bleep!

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Resignation [Aug. 1st, 2007|06:21 pm]
Lord Ilpalazzo

This is just a notice to all saying I fucking quit. I am taking a vaction from caring until further notice. My year has sucked enough on its own and trying to help people has just made it worse. All hell fucking broke lose when I was in the desert and though I have tried my hardest to bring it back together since I got back I am just done. It seems like every good thing I have done for anyone this fucking year has bite me in the ass so to put in frankly everyone can fuck off. If this offends you I am sorry but I have had it. It has just been one thing after another, I know people don't mean to but they do. It just has been one thing after another with the house, work and whatever and then the drama on top of it has just finally just pushed me over the edge. I am tired of giving advice and being looked at like I am a fucking idiot and then getting blantently ignored and having whoever do something fucking stupid. So basicly everyone fuck off until I feel better... That is all.

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Cornholed by the Air Force Agian [Jun. 9th, 2007|12:20 am]
Lord Ilpalazzo
Well, I figure I might as well post it on here since people are going to ask why I am in a pissy mode. Ok a little back story, I am a 3C2X1 in the Air Force, we have been on a confinded AFSC waiting list for something like a year, well last month they took us off that list and said anyone could get a CJR, The paperwork needed to re-enlist. I was over in the desert at the time and didn't really have any confirmation of this until I got home. After talking with people my options for a civilian job started to look really bad so me and Crystal decided that I should stay in.  So deciding on this for sure today I went down to the MPF to start my re-enlistment papers.

This is where the fucked up shit comes in. When I get down there I get told that the CJR I was told I had, I don't have. Apperently 1 May came down the E-Mail stating that all 3C2x1's have a CJR if they were in there window or not. Well when I went in there had been a second e-mail sent to just the MPF's stating that only people in their window or coming into their window would get one. This e-mail came down monday with and effictive date of 1 June, when I told my supervisors about what I was told they were confused and reserached the whoel thing becuase this was different from everything they had been told. 

They called up to AFPC to find out directly from the source what was up, they got ahold of the call center and even they had the same information that my management had, just to make sure they were transfered to the headquarters re-enlistments. Re-enlistments gave them the new information for it with is basicly as follows.

CJRs will be awarded to anyone in the AFSCs that is currently or is coming into their CJR window, there will be no execptions to this.

Basicly this means that becuase my window closed in January and I had to talk it over with Crystal and didn't get into the MPF in May I lost my one and only chance to re-enlist. This amounts to I missed my only chance to stay in the Air Force by 9 FUCKING DAYS. Can the system be anymore fucked up, well now that I have that out of my system for now I am going to go, please pray for me and Crystal everyone that prays, I have less then two months in the service left and no job, as of yet and give I need to make about 18/Hour jobs are kinda limited.
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new wow icon [May. 31st, 2007|07:36 pm]
Lord Ilpalazzo
becuase i was bored and haven't made and Icon in a while.Burning Crusade Its not the best but I was in a hurry.

P.S. Lirann you should have that checked out. Not even Noir is that dirty.
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Back in Iraq [May. 4th, 2007|04:53 am]
Lord Ilpalazzo
Well, after being in Qatar for a whoping 36 hours and out of Iraq for 60-72, I am back in this damn country. I got back to Al Udied and my first day of work I was told that I am replacing someone on a supply trip up north. So I spent last night in Kuwait and just got into Iraq tonight. I leave agian tommarow morning and hopefully for the last time but damn this can get annoying.
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Cabin Fever [Apr. 17th, 2007|07:49 pm]
Lord Ilpalazzo

Ok I am not sure if I have posted about this before or not so here it goes again…I am going completely crazy. That is all thank you come again. *bashes head on desk* Ok so the good news is that there is a good chance I will be home by the end of May at the latest possible around the middle of May. The bad news is the Army has successfully blocked all means of my entertainment. All work and no play makes Hupp go CRAZY…er. I have successful developed a extreme possibly incurable (by now) case of cabin fever and have gone past cabin fever back to severe boredom. I have picked up severe Pyro tendencies to the point where I have burn two fingers, turned the hair on my hands black, oh and had a fireball decide to gently kiss me. Ok you know it is bad when the fire in this country is a restless as I am, that or I just bring out the best in it. The Army loves me going out and doing burn with them because the flames like to play for me. They have yet to do anything bad but the Army guys think I am going to set myself on fire. Upon loss of my messenger access I took up making backgrounds which was going good for about a week then I ran out of ideas and now one would suggest anything. *grumbles and flips people off* I then took up coloring line art and that lasted a whopping 3 days when I ran out of stuff I was interested in coloring. *grumbles* Then I tried to make siege weapons for the Army…Don’t ask… and it was going good until I found out we don’t have the F***ing drill bits I need for the axle holes. *grumbles some more* But Hagan is coming back this week and hopefully she can help me stay entertained, nothing like having a girl that is as big of a pervert as me working in the next office. It is bad I can tell you we have freaked out people and just sat there talking about stuff like it is normal. Like how we had conversations about hentai with a couple of the other army guys there looking at us like we were crazy. Yeah when you start talking about tentacle rape with people that have never seen Hentai it gets funny. I have been so fucking bored that I tracked down Zork an old school text base adventure game and played that for a couple of days then beat it. *grumbles* But my MP3s are download and I can leave now so I will let you go, Peace out. *drops though a hole in the floor that disappears as he passes though*

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Did you know? [Apr. 6th, 2007|06:59 pm]
Lord Ilpalazzo
As stolen from Uncyclodia.org Warning: May Cause RetardationCollapse )
    • ...that Stereotype Reassignment Surgery is a newly invented technique allowing national, ethnic and social groups who are fed up with their current stereotypes to trade them with another group?
    • ...that some species of turtle are remarkably resistant to centrifugal force, and can reach upwards of 5000 rpm before their wee little flippers fall off?
    • ...that bloodbath is one of the most frequently attended spectator sports; Major League Bloodbath matches are enjoyed by millions of people everyday on the radio and TV?
  • ...that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
  • ...that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
  • That Alexander Hamilton was killed in a duel by Aaron Burr over women's corset length, going down in history as a "pervert for liberty?"
  • That there's poopy in mah bung-bung mcdiaper-skinsandwich-buns??
  • That Gurdit Singh is a faggot
  • That I Am Fucking Bored?
  • Santa OD'd on anti-depressants when the workshop was slow.
  • that Harpo Marx was actually mute due to oversized vocal cords.
  • that Gregory was the forgotten Disciple.
  • ...That I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting?
  • ...That it really isn't hard to figure out 11 is the smallest number to have 3 syllables and there are many other random things on this site and you didn't actually have to add to the page saying that you're "certified stupid" for counting the syllables in 1-11?
  • ...That YOU are person of the year?
  • ...that there are 10 kinds of people in this World...Those that understand binary, and those that don't?
  • ...that infortion is a real word?
  • ...that God is confused over his sexuality?
  • ...that in the United States, no-one may criticize freedom of speech?
  • ...O.J. didn't do it?
  • ...that he actully did do it?
  • ... that ^ sleeps with his mom, and OJ didnt do it!!!
  • ...Left feet arent allowed on planes
  • ...That Fall Out Boy FUCKING SUCKS!?!?!?!?
  • ...that ^ would know personally?
  • ...that fat people can naturally play bass?
  • ...God only put midgets on this planet for our amusement?
  • ...that penguins are dirty evil creatures?
  • ...that penguins taste like chicken?
  • ...that God only created penguins so we could kill them to make suits?
  • ...grumpy screwed a penguin?
  • ...that penguins are the cause for over 98% of all house hold accidents?
  • ...that penguins cause all the wars in the world?
  • ...that emo kids gone down the road not across the street?
  • ...That if you sit down standing up is just that much closer, so why bother?
  • ...That Quantum Replay Man knows where you were last summer?
  • ...That if your parents don't have children, you probably won't either?
  • ...That Canteen ladies warm "hot food" under their armpits?
  • ...That I am your father?
  • ...that i am your real father?
  • ...that i am your father and your father's father?
  • ...that i am your father who gave the sperm donation so you could be raised in a test-tube?
  • ...that i am your father who gave birth to you?
  • ...that i am your fathers father who gave birth to his father?
  • ...that i am the real father and you are all my clones?
  • ...That the highway to hell was really ment to be called the freeway to heaven?
  • ...That fat people explode if you stare at them
  • ...That when Mr. Smith went to Washington, he actually went to Maryland?
  • ...the dinosaurs died because you touch yourself at night?
  • ...I cry when angels deserve to die?
  • ...I'm God...and I'm bipolar.
  • ...That Wikipedia did not have an article pertaining the topic Kanab Ambersnail [1] until Uncyclopedia announced that it was our 150,000,000th article on November 25, 2006?
  • ...That my mustache brings all the boys to the yard.
  • ...That there is US and them.
  • ...That there is such a word as torturous?
  • ...That only very, very stupid people and americans could possibly not know that already?
  • ...That JPEG stands for Japanese Porn Erotic Graphic
  • ...If God loves you so much why does he make you sit through torturous church?
  • ...That there are 25 classifications of Hobos? And that Psychedelic is one of them?
  • ...God created Finland as a test of his masculinity?
  • ...That subjectivity can actually be seen under a 25mm microscope on Wednesdays.
  • ...That Deforestation is mainly caused by Vampires?
  • ...that Barney the dinosaur was actually created by soviet russia during the cold war to destroy the capitilist scum
  • ...that Bin Laden actually had a relationship with Stalin?
  • ...that someone just didn't read you shouldn't misuse copyrights?
  • ...that the Internet hobgoblin is first cousin to the troll?
  • ...that devouring your neighbor's infant child is frowned upon in society?
  • ...that 2006 is the year of the Bonsai Kitten?
  • ...I like beans on five-avocado guacamole?
  • ...that the landing on the moon was actually filmed in a film studio on Mars?
  • ...that your lack of effort makes baby Jesus cry?
  • ...that I am me. And you are you. And you are I. And I am too. But, somebody obscures my view of you. Really, who? Gérard Depardieu.
  • ...that Lugiatm frequently fills Uncyclopedia with subliminAL messaGOREs?
  • ...that Germans are bad?
  • ...that no few animals children were harmed killed in the making of this Wiki hat?
  • ...that writing "lol" after your comment doesn't automatically make it funny? lol! rofl!!! lmfao! omg lol!!!111
  • ...that in the past, the weapons of mass destruction were catapults, that weapons of mass destruction now are Atom Bombs, and that weapons of mass destruction of the future are actually midgets with sporks?
  • ...that I have 5 testicles?
  • ...that Jesus can walk on water?
  • ...that your love is my love?
    • ...that no one loves you not?
      • ...that Jesus loves you, but everybody else thinks you're a dick?
  • ...that grammar nazi's waist they're warlus alot?
  • ...that Tina Fey once roundhouse kicked Chuck Norris?
  • ...that Ric Flair is the ruler of Africa?
  • ...that I give a shit only after taking laxatives?
  • ...that chocolate-flavoured Ex-Lax works spendidly?
  • ...that maths teachers are plotting world domination by making you feel like complete idiots?
  • ...that Spiderman has a small penis
  • ...that if you cut a piece of cake in half, it has half the calories so you can have double as much?
  • ...that Pheasant Pluckers arent pleasant phuckers
  • ...that rape is extrovert masturbation?
  • ...that Loke is the god or angel of Change Management depending on your view?
  • ...that Nick Lewis is a Nazi at heart?
  • ...that a bird in hand is better than crabs in bush?
  • ...that Vin Diesel recently became his own country?
  • ...that Vin Diesel also defeated Darth vader single handedly without a lightsaber?
  • ...that you are some son of a female dog?
  • ...that whoever wrote the "son of a femmale dog" comment daren't write the "b" word?
  • ...that neither do you, b****!!
  • ...that the guy above me is too much of a pussy to write Bitch
  • ...that the guy above me is really tough for saying that?
  • ...I.C. York-Hunt looks just like Mike Hunt?
  • ...I.C. York-Hunt and raise you one Hugh G. Rection?
  • ...Mr. Wizard is a liar?
  • ...you are just wasting your life with the person you are with. They are dragging you down.
  • ...that in Soviet Russia, the fool pities YOU!!
  • ...that con is the opposite of pro? And so.. congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just blow your fucking mind?
  • ...that Uranus has its own gravitational pull?
  • ...that Dorset is actually in Weymouth and not vice versa?
  • ...that the Highway to Hell is on the Roadmap for Peace?
  • ...that when you clap your hands, you are giving yourself a hi five?
  • ...that there's an I in win and U in suck?
  • ...that oldthinkers unbellyfeel Unped?
  • ...that Encydram and Wikped are doubleplusungood crimethinks?
  • ...that Sophia is watching you?
  • ...that in July 1966, David St. Hubbins caused a backlash against Spinal Tap, when he claimed during an interview that The Church of the Subgenius was dying, quipping that Spinal Tap was "more popular than JR "Bob" Dobbs?"
  • ...I fill me balls upup.
  • ...Greenpeace is a very warlike group of terrorist polluters?
  • ...we tried to do some - thing - neeeew? And it may sound real good, but I don't think we're getting through?
  • ...James Bond fought for our freedom on numerous occasions, yet not one single day is set aside in his honor?
  • ...as you get older, the penis get shorter?
  • ...that the creation of Emo bands effectively signaled the second Fall of Man?
  • ...the shampoo adverts were lying, you are in fact not worth it.
  • ...the movie Mars Attacks was actually a Public Service Announcement transmitted from the future to the present to educate us on how to deal with extraterrestial invasion?
  • ...that the creamiest milk, the whitest bar, the good taste thats in Milky Bar was actually paraphrased from a much more disturbing (and incriminating) inaugraual speech by Richard Nixon?
  • ...the day goes downhill from here?
  • ...that when France was discovered by the English in 1326, they sent it back, demanding that "they put some bloody ketchup on it"?
  • ...that in Soviet Russia, only forest fires can prevent you?
  • ...that Uncyclopedia is big and you're small, it's smart and you're dumb, it's right and you're wrong and there's nothing you can do about it.
  • ...that the next statement is true.
  • ...that the previous statement is false.
  • ...that 1 out of every 12 Uncyclopedia editors has slept with your mom?
  • ...that it's because of people like you that there's no more kittens alive in the world.
  • ...that there are at least three other businesses like showbusiness, as proved by Al Gore in 1976?
  • ...that reading 'Did You Know' is responsible for 45% of all known cancer cases?
  • ...that reading the 'that' after the 'Did You Know' is responsible for 55% of all known cancer cases?
  • ...Anonymous does not forgive?
  • ...that when you assume you make an Ass out of U and ME?
  • ...that when you assume, you also just make an Assu out of me?
  • ...that making assumptions makes an ass out of u and...mumptions?
  • ...that when you assassinate, you make two asses out of I and Nate?
  • ...I'm moist?
  • ...Led Zeppelin`s drummer was actually Yoda or Darth Vader (as Obi-Wan Kenobi said)?
  • ...SpongeBob Squarepants is actually a cartoon adaptation of the Ronald Reagan presidency?
  • ...it is better to have loved and lost than to have lost and found?
  • ...Fritz Alain won so many awards for teaching Ancient Russian?
  • ...it is a really bad idea to tie a shopping cart to a bicycle?
  • ...it is a really bad idea to ride a bicycle tied to a moving automobile?
  • ...tin cans, with a string stretched between them, were invented in 1810 by Al Gore?
  • ...how many lawyers it took to screw in a light bulb?
  • ...that the above number is surprisingly higher than you think?
  • ...a fart smells worse in the heat of summer?
  • ...that they also smell worse in humidity?
  • ...people in New York change careers as often as their underwear?
  • ...people in New York don't change their underwear?
  • ...that Barry Bonds broke into my friend's house and ate all the food?
  • ...that he lives in Elwood?
  • ...that I don't think you know what Elwood is?
  • ...that I'm not talking about the Blues Brother?
  • ...that you can't touch this?
  • ...that in Soviet Russia this can't touch YOU?
  • ...that in Soviet Russia know did YOU?
  • ...that if you ever feel down you can always look at how you were before birth... the most aggressive of millions of sperm?
  • ...that I don't change my underwear and I DON'T live in New York?
  • ...that Chuck Norris CAN touch this?
  • ...that you're not the Real Slim Shady and that I don't want you to stand up?
  • ...that I was going to delete this whole page but then pondered the fact that an angry mob is already chasing me.
  • ...that beer is just a fancy word for liquid heroin?
  • ...Guitar Hero is supported by that Korean leader guy?
  • ...that Guitar Hero is also supported by that other Korean leader guy?
  • ...coughing is a direct result of being stupid?
  • ...negative numbers have been outlawed in 12 states?
  • ...that if theres no I in team and no U in team either, then no ones on the freaking team!
  • ...that Janie's got a gun?
  • ...that Michael Jackson would've taken the gun from Janie if she was a little boy?
  • ...that it is better to slap Steven than to just sit there and listen to him?
  • ...that 11 out of 10 people do not agree with this statement?
  • ...that if ya hear me for ya see me I got king kong in da trunk?
  • ...Chamillionaire looks like a frog?
  • ...that his name is not pronouced CHA-million-air?
  • ...that Lil Jon's Book of Words has only 4 words in it?
  • ...that those four words are YEAH, OKAY, WHAT, and CRUNK?
  • ...that I just slapped Steven?
  • ...that all your base are belong to us?
  • ...that they see me rollin', they hatin'?
  • ...that 493 is a big number?
  • ...that Hitler's name means "gay sex" in Russian?
  • ...that the number 8743934834 does not think the number 493 is a big number?
  • ...that the number 12 does think the number 493 is big, and the number 8743934834 is gay?
  • ...that jesus is the oldest remembered fictional character?
  • ...that you really shouldn't look behind you because satan is raping a kitten as you read this?
  • ...that, in fact, the glass is half-empty, and not half-full?
  • ...that the egg came before the chicken, becouse dinosaurs laid eggs?
  • ...that sometimes I use female underwear? (but, please, don't tell anybody)
  • ...that stoners live and stoners die but in the end we all get high?
  • ...That if you have six toes, why don't you eat your toes?
  • ...that kyle buck has red hair?
  • ...that kyle buck also has a fire crotch?
  • ...that if you plant a candy corn into the ground, it grows into a bush?
  • ...that if you flex your arms for a long enough period of time, they will get bigger?
  • ...that your gay, you just havent realised it yet?
  • ...that 60% of the time, it works every time?
  • ...that in prison, you'd be my bitch?
  • ...that Shere Khan ist the hotest and the most popular bollywood actress in the World?
  • ...that I walk it out?
  • ...that Jesus saves, but Satan knocks in the rebound to take an early lead?
  • ...that God rigged the game so that no one wins?
  • ...that Moses scored?
  • ...That Walking backwards makes you gain weight
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